I'll Never Forgive Myself
by Ruki Heartilly
Summary: This is my first fan fic so please don't flame!This is a fic about S+S.They are on sumthin like the Titanic....not what you think it is though...It' has nothing to do with the story of Jack and Rose.R&R!
1. Default Chapter

Moshimoshi minna-san! This is my first fanfic so please don't flame! R&R!  
Disclaimer's note: CCS or CC does not belong to me! It belongs to CLAMP.  
  
  
I'll never forgive myself  
By: spring's serenade  
  
Sakura looked up at the huge ship she was about to board. "It's beautiful.." She breathed. "Of course my dear! Amia not the most beautiful and most sturdiest ship ever?" Sakura's father chuckled. "I think we're going to have a great time! Don't you think?" Mrs.Kinomoto asked her husband. "Why of course!" he replied. "1st class passengers! Please make your way to your rooms immediately!" someone on the deck cried out. "Looks like that's our call!"Mr. Kinomoto said with enthusiasiam. And the family headed for the gangway to get on board and to be escorted to their rooms.  
~*~  
  
As they were walking down the hall of the great Amia Mr. Kinomoto suddenly cried out, "Well hello Okodama-san!" "Hello to you as well Kinomoto-san! I was just looking for you! I wanted you all you meet Syaoran. He is going to be your assistant and the newest member of our crew." then John turned to Syaoran." Syaoran This is Mr. Kinomoto, Mrs. Kinomoto, and Sakura." he continued. Syaoran shook hands with each person and smiled. He blushed a little when he shook Sakura's hand.`He's kind of cute! `Sakura thought and blushed as well with one of her cheerful smiles." Well, I shouldn't be bothering you folks! Enjoy your stay! "John said. The Kinomoto family finished unpacking with the help of their maids. "Mother, may I go explore the ship on my own?" Sakura asked her mother. "Of course not! Well, if you do want to, I suggest you take Syaoran with you!" "Thank you mother!" Sakura replied and smiled as she went on her way to find Syaoran. At last she found him.  
  
~*~  
  
"Syaoran!"She cried out. "Syaoran! Can you take me around the ship to show me things around?" "Sure!" he said. They walked along to the deck. There was a sudden big jerk. Sakura fell backwards but Syaoran caught her on time. "The boats starting to move. We're going to be on our way to America soon!" he smiled. Sakura smiled back. They talked along the way so Syaoran could show Sakura the 1st class dining area. "Why did you choose to do this job?" Sakura asked. " My mother needs money at home. So I volunteered for this job." He replied. "I wish this ship would take more nights to travel! I'd love to stay here for a few more nights! 2 nights can pass so quickly ya know!" Sakura said cheerfully. "Yes it can." He said.  
  
That's it for chapter 1!stay tuned for the next chapter coming really soon!  
Spring's serenade. =^.^=  
  
  
Preview for the next chapter:  
"I'll see u after dinner then. How about some dancing in the ballroom tonight?" Syaoran asked. "Sure then, I'll meet u after dinner outside the 1st class dining room" Sakura smiled.  
  
  
  
  



	2. Dancing Past Midnight

I'm back

Disclaimer's Note: I do not own CCS. 

I'll never forgive myself

Chapter 2

By: spring's serenade

"Well, that's our tour for today." Syaoran ended with a smile. "Thank you for taking me." Sakura replied and bowed. "I'll see u after dinner then. How about some dancing in the ballroom tonight?" Syaoran asked. "Sure then, I'll meet u after dinner outside the 1st class dining room" Sakura smiled.

~*~

They headed off in different directions. "Oh, Sakura there you are! We were just heading to the ding room! Please get changed into some more decent clothes quickly!" Mrs. Kinomoto told her. "Sakura changed into a sleeveless full length white dress with cherry blossoms designs on the end of her dress. She wore whit sandals to match them. "I'm coming!" Sakura ran to catch up with her mother.

~*~

Dinner was over and Sakura asked to be excused from the table to go with Syaoran. "Sure dear!" Her mother replied. Sakura and Syaoran saw each other the minute Sakura stepped out of the dining room. "Follow me!" Syaoran said happily to Sakura.They danced and fun all night. But little did they know that "Sure dear!" was not all what Sakura's mother said…. They were supposed to be back at 9:30 sharp.

~*~

It was past midnight and so they finally departed. On Sakura's way back to her suite, she bumped into her parents. "SAKURA WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? WE WERE SO WORRIED! DID U NOT KNOW IT WAS PAST MIDNIGHT?!?!?" Mrs.Kinomoto cried. "I can exp-" Sakura started. "I know," Nadeshiko said in a calmer and softer voice. "Syaoran must have told you to stay! I don't want you to ever see him again!Now, take a bath and get to bed! No excuses!" Sakura knew it wasn't Syaoran's fault, but she also knew that she couldn't argue.

Okay, I have to admit this chapter was REALLY sappy, but what can I say? 

Preview for Chapter 3

Church was over and Sakura went to sneak of the find Syaoran again. She found him a few minutes later. "Sakura, I-" he started. "Come, let's go to your room. And talk there, it's not safe." Sakura interrupted. 


	3. After Church

I'll Never Forgive Myself

In this chapter, I do a little explaing…Don't worry, the later chapters will be more exciting!

I'll Never Forgive Myself

Chapter 3

By: Spring's Serenade

It was a Sunday morning and Sakura and her family had to go to church. They sang hymns, read passages from the Bible and then the pastor came to preach.

~*~

Church was over and Sakura went to sneak of the find Syaoran again. She found him a few minutes later. "Sakura, I-" he started. "Come, let's go to your room. And talk there, it's not safe." Sakura interrupted. 

~*~

Syaoran opened the door of his cabin, which was shared with three others. "Is this where you sleep?" Sakura asked. Syaoran flushed. 

"Uhhh….yeah. So can I ask you some personal questions?"

"Sure"

"Okay, so how old are you?"

"15"

"So am I"

"So is it only you and your mother?"

"No I have 4 older sisters also looking for jobs"

"How about your father?"

"He passed away 4 years ago."

"Oh, I'm really sorry…"

"That's okay. So are you the only child?"

"No, My onii-chan didn't want to come, he's busy"

~~~~Sakura's P.O.V.~~~~~~~

He's so kind! I just wish my parents would approve of him!

~~~~Syaoran's P.O.V.~~~~~~~

She's beautiful……But she'll never choose me…..

Preview for the next chapter

"Kinomoto Sakura."

"Daidouji Tomoyo."


	4. Tomoyo

Spring's Serenade:I hope u like the next chapter

Spring's Serenade:I hope u like the next chapter!

Kitty Kat:But u have to admit that this chapter IS kinda boring….

Spring's Sereande:*pouts* Fine it IS kinda boring but I really needed to get Tomoyo in the story by sum way!Well here's the story anyway.

I'll Never Forgive Myself 

Chapter 4

By: Spring's Serenade

Sakura left and went outside to the deck, but on her way, some one else bumped into her.

"Oh I'm really sorry! Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

The other girl stretched out her hand. "Daidouji Tomoyo"

Sakura shook her hand."Kinomoto Sakura."

"IS this your first time on a ship?" Tomoyo asked.

"Hai, it is.Is this your first time too?"

"No,it's actually the fifth or sixth."

Sakura 's eyes widened. "Wow….."

"What's cabin number?"

"261"

"Cool!I'm in 263."

"How old are you?"

"I am too."

Some one in the far distant was calling Tomoyo.

"Tomoyo!!"

"Oh, I'm sorry Sakura, that's my mother calling me! Gotta go!"

"Sayonara!"

Preview for Chapter 5

"Good Evening," There was Syaoran. "Please put on some warm clothing with your lifebelt and report to the deck immediately. No need to panic, it's just a drill."

Syaoran gave an uneven smile, but his eyes look urgent."


	5. Sinking?!

Spring's Seranade:Okay, here's the next chapter

Spring's Seranade:Okay, here's the next chapter! It's hopefully getting to the better part!

Kitty Kat:Sure…

Spring's Seranade: Shut up!

I'll Never Forgive Myself

By: Spring's Seranade

Chapter 5

The Kinomoto family were reunited and went for dinner with the Daidouji family. 

~*~

The night passed on and it was soon bedtime. Sakura fell asleep almost instantly. A few hours later, there was a huge knock followed by a huge bump.

"What in the world is going on?!?!?!" Mr. Kinomoto cried.

Someone knocked on the door so Sakura went to answer it.

"Good Evening," It was Syaoran. "Please put on some warm clothes with your lifebelt and report tot eh deck immediately .No need to worry, it's only a fire drill." Syaoran gave an uneven smile, but his eyes looked urgent.

Sakura told her parents and they all fumbled around their suite to do what they were told.

"I wouldn't suggest you take your time…." Syaoran said barely in a whisper.

It didn't seem possible but maybe this wasn't a drill……..

~*~

They went up to the deck and Sakura also met Tomoyo there.The deck was extremely crowded.There were also complaints coming from every direction.

"Hmnph, why did this drill have to be this late?"

"The captain will certainly be hearing from me!!"

~Sakura's P.O.V.~

People were being already hauled into lifeboats.

"Women and children first!"

My stomach twisted. _We were actually sinking!_

_ _

"Tomoyo! Where's Syaoran?!"

"I don't know but lets go first! Our mothers have already left!"

"No, We have to go look for him! You take the right and I'll take the left! Meet you back here in about 10 minutes!"

I didn't even wait for Tomoyo to respond and so I headed off in my direction. Tomoyo threw up her hands in disgust and did what she was told.

~*~

I searched Deck B but he wasn't there. And a thought popped up in my head. The A deck! So I began to search the hallways. And there, in the middle of the hall sat a young boy in a white uniform hugging his knees and staring at, well, nothing….It was Syaoran……..

Preview for Chapter 6

Syaoran smiled, " I want to remember tonight that I kissed a pretty girl…"


	6. Aishiteru

Spring's Seranade:Kitty Kat you better like this romantic chapter…or else…

Spring's Seranade:Kitty Kat you better like this romantic chapter…or else…

Kitty Kat: Sorry, Spring-chan, can't promise you that!

Spring's Seranade::-(

I'll Never Forgive Myself

By:Spring's Seranade

Chapter 6

~Normal P.O.V.~

"Syaoran! Come on! There's not much time!"

"Sakura what are _you _here?! I thought you were long gone!"

"What about you?"

He smiled a twisted smile. "The crew sticks together. Now let me take to a life boat!"

Sakura didn't move.

"Please?"

Sakura still didn't move.

"Please, I don't want to beg you?!"

Sakura slowly nodded, not aware of what she was doing and Syaoran's eyes softened.

"That's a relief, now I don't have to worry anymore. But anyway, can you do me 2 favors?"

Sakura nodded eagerly hoping he would ask her to stay with him.

Syaoran smiled, " I want to remember tonight that I kissed a pretty girl…"

He gave her a small peck on the lips.

"Have you ever kissed a boy before?"

"No, I was afraid that was not satisfying."

"Then shall we give it another go?"

This time, their kiss was warm and passionate as they hugged each other tightly.

Syaoran broke the kiss. "Here, the locket is for you and the letter is for my mother…in case-in case I don't make it…Please open the locket when you are on the life boat. Thanks…"

Sakura's eyes misted. And they both went back up to the deck.

"Okodama-san, can you please take Sakura to a lifeboat please?"

"Why certainly Syaoran."

"Syaoran…"

"Sayonara my love…"

"Aishiteru…"

"Aishiteru Sakura…" 

Sakura looking back at Syaoran as she was being led to lifeboat "D" Tomoyo was already sitting down waiting for her.

"Sakura! Where's Syaoran?!"

"On deck, he'll hopefully catch another lifeboat later."

Tomoyo gaped at her.

"Sakura there _are _no more lifeboats!!!"

Sakura gaped at her and looked up at the decks of the _Amia._ Thousands of people were still on deck…..

Preview For Chapter 7

Spring's Seranade: Gomen minna! NO preview! I don't want to give it way….J


	7. I'll Never Forgive Myself

Spring's Seranade:Yay

Spring's Seranade:Yay!!!!Last chapter!I'm DONE! Can u believe it?!?!?!?

Kitty Kat:No, that's NOT impressive enough!it took u a month to this!

Spring's Seranade:Shut up! At least I finished it!

Kitty Kat:Hmmm, good point…

Spring's Seranade: HA!

I'll Never Forgive Myself

By:Spring's Seranade

Chapter 7

As the last lifeboat was led down, Sakura noticed that Syaoran was busy looking down at the sea.

They were about a fair amount away from the sinking ship, when Sakura saw one of those nightmares she would never forget, people were screaming as the boat went down, everyone was diving in the waters and at last she saw a small white figure with tangled, chestnut colored hair dive into the water….Syaoran…..

~Sakura's P.O.V.~

SYAORAN!NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He's gone….my heart skipped a beat. The locket! I pulled out her small heart-shaped locket and opened it. There was a crumpled piece of paper inside.(A/N: 'Kay, ppl it isn't a HUGE locket!)

_Dear Sakura,_

_ _

_I'm so sorry that I'm leaving you but I really had no choice. You were my first love, my only love, and my true love. Please remember me and may God bless you. I never regretted meeting you. I love you._

_ _

_All of my Love, Li Syaoran_

_ _

As tear slid down my cheek and others poured out. _Syaoran…I' so sorry…_it had been hours since the Amia sank and it was past sunrise. No one slept at all. Mnost of the people were crying. Finally, We saw a ship in the distance, the Bilifier(A/N: Stupid name eh? What?! U try to think of a better name?!). 

~*~

~Normal P.O.V.~

Sakura sat on a bench on the Bilifier. Only a few men were saved, mostly the 1st class passengers though. Sakura had tears streaming down her face. Tomoyo came along.

"It wasn't your fault Sakura…I know you loved Syaoran…"

Tears continued to flow. _"I'll never forgive myself…I'll never forgive myself for taking a step into that lifeboat, for dooming everyone left on board…for dooming Syaoran…"_

_ _

_ _

_~The End~_

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Kitty Kat: Yay! =^.^=!

Spring's Seranade: Arigato gozaimasu! *takes a bow*Done my first fanfic! Now, the next chapter is the history of how this fic was based on a true story !Enjoy and buy the real book too!

__


	8. History

~*History*~

~*History*~

This is a true story, it happened to a friend of a friend of mine. JUST KIDDING! No, this a true story but it happened to a girl named Margaret Ann Brady(Sakura), who was on the Titanic. Robert(Syaoran) was also on the Titanic working as a crew member.

The real story is Margaret's diary.She didn't have parents on the ship either. However, there are many differences. Margaret never did forgive herself for leaving Robert though. She got married and had three kids, Dorothy Harriet and Robert! She died at the age of 1994 at the age of 95.

To read this book, the title is:

Dear America: Voyage on the great Titanic - The Diary of Margaret Ann Brady 


End file.
